Supporting someone with PTSD

Policing can be rewarding, exciting, and sometimes dangerous. The nature of the role, exposure to traumatic incidents, critical events, shift work, and organisational pressures, can affect not just the police personnel, but also their family, friends, and colleagues. For some, these experiences can lead to PTSD, which can make everyday life at home and in relationships more challenging.

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Recognising PTSD and How to Help

What is PTSD?

Recognising the signs of PTSD and Complex PTSD

How you can help

Looking after yourself – where to find help

What is PTSD?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can develop after someone experiences or witnesses a traumatic event. While initial reactions to distressing events are natural, PTSD can cause ongoing emotional and physical responses that persist long after the incident. For those close to them, these reactions can be difficult to recognise and understand. You might notice changes in mood, behaviour, or daily routines, sometimes subtle, sometimes more obvious, such as irritability, avoidance, sleep difficulties, or emotional withdrawal.

Supporting someone with PTSD

Supporting someone with PTSD can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to worry about their safety or wellbeing, and family members or close friends may also experience stress, anxiety, or even symptoms of trauma themselves simply from being close to someone repeatedly exposed to critical incidents.

Common experiences of PTSD

People with PTSD may re-experience traumatic events in a number of ways, including:

Unwanted upsetting memories
Nightmares
Flashbacks
Emotional distress after reminders of trauma
Physical reactions, such as increased heart rate or sweating
A sense of hopelessness or loss of self-esteem
Appearing “cold” or showing less emotion

PTSD can also affect behaviour and bodily responses:

Recognising the signs of PTSD and Complex PTSD

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) can develop following prolonged or repeated trauma and often includes additional difficulties with emotional regulation, self-concept, and relationships.

In reality, the signs of PTSD and C-PTSD are not always obvious. They can be subtle, and each person’s experience is different. You might notice a loved one or colleague becoming more irritable, withdrawn, or emotionally distant. Sometimes the changes are hard to define—small shifts in behaviour or reactions that feel “out of character.”

Recognising these patterns can help build understanding and highlight the importance of patience, empathy, and awareness.

“It presented initially as depression… The moment I realised something was seriously wrong was when the anti-depressants were at max and there was no improvement at all.” — Partner of a police officer with PTSD

The impact on family and close others

Living with or supporting someone with PTSD can affect daily life in many ways. You may find yourself taking on additional responsibilities, feeling anxious about leaving them alone, or becoming more alert to their safety and wellbeing.

Family members of police personnel can also be affected indirectly. Some research suggests that close family members may be at increased risk of developing trauma-related symptoms themselves, particularly when repeatedly exposed to critical incidents through their loved one’s work.

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“I really appreciated the sessions I received; they helped me understand PTSD and set boundaries. I can now deal with situations better, and it has made such a positive impact on my life and my family.”

Spouse/partner of serving police, Northern Ireland (PSNI)

How You Can Help

Listen and be present

Let your loved one, friends and colleagues share as much or as little as they feel ready to. Listen without judgement and reassure them that their feelings are valid. Recovery takes time, and your patience matters.

Learn their triggers

Certain sights, sounds, smells, or situations can provoke strong emotional reactions. Noticing these triggers can help you prepare and create a calmer environment when they occur.

Use grounding techniques

Flashbacks or distressing memories can feel overwhelming. Grounding strategies help bring someone back to the present:

Guide them to notice what’s around them: 5 things they can see, 4 they can hear, 3 they can touch, 2 they can smell, 1 they can taste.
Encourage movement: standing, stretching, or feeling their feet on the floor.
Breathing exercises: slow, deep breaths can reduce tension and help them feel safer.

Avoid reactive decisions

When emotions run high, take a short pause before acting. A few minutes can prevent escalation and allow both of you to approach the situation calmly.

Support routines and self-care

Encourage daily habits that bring stability; sleep, exercise, social connection, and relaxation, for both your loved one and yourself.

Looking After Yourself / Where to find help

Supporting someone with PTSD can be demanding. Taking care of your own wellbeing is essential. You might access help through your GP, Employee Assistance Programme, or reach out to us for support. Looking after yourself allows you to be a calmer, steadier presence for the person you care about.

PTSD is treatable, and with the right support, recovery is possible. Your understanding, patience, and presence can make a real difference, not just for your loved one, friend, or colleague, but for your wider community.

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We just thought the nightmares were normal.

We convinced ourselves this was all normal, this is just because of doing shift work, this is just normal for police people.

It was quite upsetting; you know. When things got really bad and he could not control things. But you feel very alone, because you don't know what's going on and your life is out of control because the person you are trying to support is out of control and you don’t know why and I guess it's a bit of a vicious circle because it’s only once you know what’s wrong, can you begin to treat it